Oversharing

16th April 2023: The birth of the questions

I have an open relationship 

with the whole world.

 

My life is their life, 

no secrets.

I want to be seen, 

I want to inspire the world

from behind this glass that’s so transparent,

I can’t even hide when I change my clothes or my mind…

 
There's nothing left for me, only for me,
Why do I want to share everything with the ones around me?

Is my life a sacrilege for the world to learn?
Am I that wise?
Such a freelance guru, aren’t I?

 
Why does the intimacy with myself scares me so much?
Am I doing something wrong?
Am I a sinner that deserves public shaming for having kinky thoughts?

Even this poem I feel like sharing,
In the form of an inspirational speech...

Is this about the validation of others?
New addiction? Or maybe an old one?
I have to make sure that I am ALWAYS doing the RIGHT thing...

RIGHT ACCORDING TO WHO?!!!
To God?!!! Fuck religion!
To my dad??? God bless his soul, he’d done everything he could,
I am a big girl now,
I make my own mistakes,
And suffer my own pain.

What do I think?
Maybe it’s the rarest question to ask myself,
Doesn't my opinion matter?
Oh, it does, it’s just that it’s not good enough,
Others surely know better...

Or at least this is what my Inner Critic is telling me, 

This old bastard that's mumbling tirelessly inside my skull.

What’s the solution?
How do I get out of the trap that I’ve set up for myself,
by myself?

19 April 2023: The arrival of the answers

A friend of mine sends me an Instagram post with the following description, which I partially quote:

 

..."how do you know what’s meant for just you, and what’s meant to be shared with others?”

In short, I let Spirit guide me. For every story or magical moment I share here, there are hundreds more I keep to myself. Not because I’m not *supposed* to share them, but because I’m not led to share them. That simple.

I no longer question it in my thinking brain. I feel, and I listen. If I’m asking, “should I share this or not?” I’m in my head trying to find the *right* answer, rather than inquiring deeper into what’s happening in my HEART."...

And this is why this poem sees now the light of the day. 

I've felt that there are people who would identify themselves with what I'm describing through my words and dilemmas.

Maybe they'll feel less lonely in their journey towards self-acceptance, maybe they will have more courage to be who they are and feel less ashamed about "over"sharing. I hope they will let themselves feel more and share even more, if they feel like it. I believe that out there are lots of hungry souls awaiting for the feed that we have to share with them. 

You are nor the only one sharing, neither the only one starving. 

Share courageously your food for thoughts and Spirit.

From my heart to yours,

Amy  

Image source: https://www.deviantart.com/mylifethroughthelens/art/Lovers-433681118